The Secret Journals Of Adolf Hitler Series: The Anointed & The Struggle (A Novel) by Mogan A. G

Author:Mogan, A. G. [Mogan, A. G.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: A. G. Mogan
Published: 2018-07-23T16:00:00+00:00

2

The Abyss Gazes Back

T he agonizing nights that follow instill in me an urgent need to see Doctor K again. With all my hate for doctors and hospitals, I somehow trust this one. He might as well be the only person who could cure me.

It is the early morning of a January day. Dawn is just breaking and I open the tall window of my small Munich apartment, the biting cold storming in as soon as I do so. I close my eyes and make no effort to remove myself from it, as somehow, the severe low temperature serves to chase away my dreadful feelings of despondency.

Yet terrifying images from my earlier nightmare willfully persist. I slam shut the window, pull on my blue suit, and exit into the cold.

For two long hours, I walk the streets of Munich lost in thoughts. I remember Linz; how I walked for several days through knee-length snow, pondering the hostile world around me and all the abandoning people and loneliness. Munich has little snow this January, but I still ponder the same truths.

At 9 o’clock sharp, I knock on the door of Doctor K’s home clinic.

“Good morning, Doctor,” I say, shaking his hand. “It has been a long time. ”

“Good morning to you, too, Herr…”

“Hitler,” I say, sensing the futility of still using Father’s old last name. “I gather you already know that by now?”

“I do. Just wasn’t sure if you’d still prefer to be called by the other name. It is indeed a long time since our last discussion.”

“Yes. Many things have happened since then.”

The doctor rubs his sleepy eyes. “Indeed…and I must admit that I looked into the unfolding of events quite keenly. It was fascinating entertainment for me, even though I wasn’t surprised in the least.”

“And why not?”

“Because I had expected it. I am still expectant of things that are even more fascinating. The greater the imagination, the grander the idealized self.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I am afraid I don’t follow.”

He smiles, his perfectly white teeth contrasting with his tanned skin. Is he traveling even in January?

“Well, we psychotherapists can sometimes have a knack of predicting the course of someone’s future life. That is, of course, if the person in question is not willing to respond to therapy.”

“And you can do that based on…what?”

He gestures me to sit down and takes his place in front of me.

“Based on the events that took place in one’s childhood and based on how those particular events affect one’s growth and psychological development.”

“I see. So, I disclosed some truths about my mother and father, and that made you expect a failed putsch and an imprisonment? Is that what you are saying?”

“No. Not like that. I can predict your psychological disposition, not particular events. I can tell you, sometimes with astonishing accuracy, what motivates you to do what you do, what stops you from doing things that would be good for you, what frightens you, and so on. ”

“You know, Doctor, an astrologer would point

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